patience

"Oh Lord, gimme patience; but hurry up!"

Nibhaana & Chodna

Pati [to Patni]: ye sochkar mera saath nibhana ki mere pas kuch nahi hai tumhare siva khoney kai liye..!
Patni [to Pati]: yeh sochkar Kabhi mera saath mat chhodna ki tumhare pas kuch nahi bachaa mere 'make-up' aur 'maintenance' ke kharche k baad!

revolving restaurant

I first met her in a revolving restaurant and have been 'revolving' with her ever since. Whenever I say I'm getting vertigo, she says 'trailer' toh dikhaaya thaa!

horoscope

A girl [to astrologer after giving her BF's horoscope]: "when 'll i get married to my boyfriend"
astrologer: "never"
girl: 'why'
astrologer: 'his horoscope says he will live a happy life'

Pain giver or flower

Husband [to wife]: 'you always bestow me with pain but still you are called a flower'
Wife: 'let me take you to the next stage of pain called ..........bleeding'
Husband: You are not just flower; you are real flower, beautiful flower, merciful flower

FLOWers

Wives can be aptly called as FLOWERS as they decide the FLOW of 3Ms:
Money, Mood & Mind [Piston, 2011]

no one to fight with

Eve [to God]: 'I feel so strained as I have no one to fight with'
God: 'Don't worry; I'll manufacture 'poor' Adam [Piston, 2011]